Hey Sarah! How are you feeling today?

Boy oh boy am I glad that you asked that.

Phones suck. Also, money sucks. Phone plans that cost money, suck. I hear vacuum cleaners do as well, but who needs those dumb things?

You know what else sucks?

"Hey. We're canceling your phone plan next October. We were going to do it this month, but that's too expensive. So, pay $20 a month then you're off our plan next October."

...

Ohhhhkay. Cool. Did you know that if I get any plan anywhere else I'll be paying as much as you guys pay for the 4 of us? Thank you for telling me that after I was in a really good mood. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. I don't mind paying the $20, but kicking me off makes it really extra special. Thanks for all the help, guys. I really appreciate it.

And by the way, I didn't want to talk to you this morning anyway, boyfriend.

With all the not love that I'm feeling currently,

Sarah